So last time, I felt like making myself a schedule would help me feel better. Guess what? It has! Two things have come of it. First, realizing that I really do A LOT already, and second, making my time count. Last week I think I overscheduled myself because I felt like I had no "me" time. This week I put in the basics, added the workouts then put a few activities with my kids in. I am still freakin' busy, but I feel better with a plan in mind. The other benefit is that I figured out how to sync my outlook calendar with my iPhone. Now when I get asked when am I available, I can honestly answer!
Health food -wise I feel like things are going good. I feel better with the supplements I'm taking. I started Turmeric and Bromelein and after 2 weeks I feel it is slowly helping. I like that I have cut out almost all of the snack foods in the house. This is good for me but also good for my kids. Now they are really hungry for mealtime. They are having a hard time getting used to the newer choices but its a work in progress. I feel like I still need to improve on my food choices. I have healthy options but I still revert back to the easiest thing to eat, i.e.: whole wheat flour tortillas, string cheese and almond butter and sugar-free jelly sandwiches. I think I do great with breakfast. Nice and healthy. Long lasting fulfillment. Lunch is blah and dinner is iffy. I still have my mountain of library books that are due this friday. I'm not ready to give them up but I'm not really reading them either. Maybe I'll keep my receipt for these books and return most of them. Then I can go through one or two slowly and not be so overwhelmed by "the mountain".
I am enjoying Deceptively Delicious, but I don't like being confined to her receipes. I'm trying to understand her choices in adding in the pureed veggies so that I can take whatever receipe I want and add the veggies. This way I don't have to pick from just what is in her book. I can make WHATEVER I WANT!
Pretty soon I am scheduled to train at the co-op for volunteer work. My mother in law doesn't want me working there because of the weird people there. I say whatever! I'm not doing an opening or closing shift and people are people. Besides, this is a huge step in character building for me. I NEVER volunteer for ANYTHING. I just don't want to give and help. I never have. I realize its a character flaw but atleast I'm aware of my short comings. However, this is something I want to do. Its organized, its work without pay. Its a great step towards the concept of volunteering. I have been so hurt by "people" my whole life that I absolutely don't want to give back. Now I don't know quite what has changed but I feel like this is gonna be a great opportunity for me.
I have been sleepy in the daytime lately and taking naps. This is good, but then my husband doesn't get his rest. Since he works during the night, I would say his rest is more important than mine. Here is the problem. He won't sleep during the day. He will usually pass out around 4pm. Then he wants me to wake him for dinner, then wake him after the kids go to bed so we can hang out. Crazy, right? I've been to work with him, I want to pass out as soon as I get home! I don't get him at all. So he is asleep right now. I came home from Zumba to the kids running wild. At 7:50, they should be in bed chilling out, reading. So, I rounded them up and got them to bed. My man is still asleep! He briefly woke up to apologize, then went back out. I definitely do not plan to wake him. Atleast now I get some "me" time. But my dogs are running circles around my feet making me crazy!!
The only other thing on my mind is my estranged friend. Are we still friends? I don't know. She unfriended me on FB and hasn't texted me in a week and a half. I couldn't make her class last friday due to another urgent situation I had to take care of. I do miss my friend. I want to know if she is mad at me, doesn't like me anymore, what? I don't know that I will make it to her class on friday. I'm considering texting her tomorrow. I guess I just need closure.
Despite this, I do feel better and more positive and happier even. I have to go to see my shrink next week. Maybe I can start to back off of my meds. I still need my sleep meds, but not my happy meds so much. I haven't seen him in 6 months so it should be interesting to see what changes he notices.
For now I will say goodnight. Until I need you again...
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