Its past midnight and I'm still awake!

Today was such a weird day.  I felt so awkward, insecure and out of place.  It started with not being able to sleep in.  I don't have to get children up for school so why did I have to be woken up so early?  I never get to sleep in, nor do I seem to get to go to sleep at night.  And I used to do this and work???
So I took a little nap, woke up late, rushed to get ready and got to zumba just on time.  The person I came to see did not respond to me as I had hoped.  In fact I felt a bit ignored.  Class was awkward...  I was glad when it was over and spent most of the time wondering why I was there and if I wanted to come back again.  Then later said person texts me.  So apparently we have a text-friendship?  She hasn't talked to me much in person and has no time to meet up.  However, she has loads of time to spend on facebook.  I guess I just don't understand. 
Then back at home, the kids are running amok and husband has fallen asleep.  So I was in a bad mood and really was not interested in dealing with children.  I find lately that I do my best cleaning when I am not in a good mood.  Not working has certainly been an adjustment.  I am super busy, yet lonely, yet content and bored all at the same time.  Plus now I have all this time on my hands to face things I haven't faced in awhile.  Some good things like actually cooking again.  Except now I feel like all my time is spent feeding someone or cleaning up after.  I might actually get around to organizing more things.  I still have no interest in my previous hobby of beaded jewelry. 
Some bad things I'm facing are the loneliness and lack of friendships.  I never have been good at those, but I want it real bad.  I get so insecure and envious when I watch other people with their friends.  Thank God I have my husband.  Atleast he gets me.  I've seen a lot of my mother-in-law these last few weeks and not much of my own mom.  I will get to see her tomorrow, that will be really great!
I really think I need some type of basic routine to my days.  I might feel better if I have a focus each day.  That will be my new challenge and the next time I am able to "secretly" blog, I can check in with the status of that.
I still don't think I can sleep.  Maybe I'll take a handful of melatonin and go lie down again...